Please don’t feed the birds

So, the move is over, we are happily settled in our new home, the housewarming party has been and gone and we have about 200 pieces of finger food left over from the festivities. Apparently our friends don’t eat nearly as much as we thought.

This is, of course, a major food waste issue and as much as I love mini foods like pepper pies, quiches, chicken drummettes, pizzas, samosas and meatballs, I fear for my waistline – especially with Christmas bearing down on us. What to do?

We had a brilliant idea that we’d use up the meatballs in a tomato sauce and have that with some spaghetti (for about three dinners!) but that still leaves about, umm, 160 pieces of frozen leftovers. Happily they are neatly stacked and labelled in the freezer but I’m not sure how long they’ll last before the dreaded freezer burn makes an appearance.

Now the reason I find all this so distressing is because I was psychologically prepared to restart our food waste campaign in the new house with a clean slate. We’d let our supplies diminish completely before we moved in and what was left over had to be binned after it accidentally sat on the verandah in the sun for four hours on moving day. (This is totally forgivable I think).

So we have gone from a completely bare freezer to one packed to the rafters with aluminium foil trays. Much less distressing is all the wine and champagne left over from the party (apparently our friends don’t drink as much as we thought either) but happily that’s not an issue – especially when you’ve inherited a good-sized pantry.

Since I’m at a bit of a loss about what to do with the food I’m going for the easy option – denial. I figure it can stay there while I’m busy figuring out what to do about the extended family of magpies that seems to be squatting in our garden. The issue of the maggies is a bit of a double-edge sword (not to mention they have beaks big enough to peck out your eyes). Someone (not me) has taken to giving them left-over bread (good) and mince meat (bad). They love the mince so much they won’t leave and I’m spending most of my time at home cleaning up bird poo. I’ve tried to explain to them that they shouldn’t s*** where they eat. Have they listened? No. Hence I’ve put an end to their mince supply but they’re still getting some bread (although I suspect Archie, the one-legged friend is still getting mince when I’m not looking). You know you’re in trouble when you name an animal so we all know where this is heading.

I wonder if maggies eat quiche.