How to eat a rich Spaghetti Bolognese and still fit into your jeans

Have you ever tried on a pair of jeans that were a little snug but you bought them anyway in the belief that you’ll fit into them if you just lose a couple of kilos? Of course you have. Hasn’t everyone? I have such a pair sitting in my wardrobe – brand new Levis and they’ve been languishing there for so long they’re probably considered vintage.

Anyway, having run out of jeans I like and not inclined to go jeans shopping at the moment (except for an internet order from the US which I suspect will end in tears) I decided on a little research to see if there is a way to stretch jeans that don’t fit. Let me preface this by saying the jeans in question did not fit full stop. I couldn’t do them up (apparently the couple of kilos I needed to lose in the first place have turned into considerably more). So in the “How To Stretch Jeans” section of Google came the following advice:

1. Start by putting your jeans through a regular wash cycle on cold. This will remove any excess dye as well as prepare them for stretching.
2. Remove the jeans from the washer and hold in front of you.
3. Insert your forearm into the waist of the jeans, your elbow on one side and your fist on the other. Pull the jeans from one side to the other by stretching your arm and then bending again at the elbow. (This sounds easier than it really is so I ended up sticking my foot on the waistband and pulling the jeans on each side.)
4. To add even more stretch, insert an object into the waist of your jeans to keep the jeans stretching. A textbook works well, but if your jeans need more width, you can also use a plank of wood cut to the correct size. It may seem extreme to cut a plank just for jeans, but you can use this over and over on any jeans you have. Another way of doing this is to pull the waist over the back of a chair, so that it hugs the chair and the chair back stretches the waist. If you do it this way, you can leave the jeans there to dry, maximizing the stretch. (A textbook? How small is the author of this report? I really don’t recommend this unless you’re a size nothing… in which case you probably don’t need to stretch your jeans.)
5. Let your jeans dry naturally by hanging them to dry on a line or a drying rack. If you are really pressed for time, you can tumble them in a dryer on low heat, but be careful to put them on the lowest setting.
6. To stretch more before wearing, hold one end of the waist of the jeans in one hand and pull with your other. You may also insert your foot into the waist of the jeans on one end and pull with your hand on the other. Just be careful not to overextend the fabric with this technique (or rub the hell out of your hands which is what I did. Hello, handcream).

There is a happy ending to this story in that the jeans now fit. And not only do they fit they’re actually a little loose around the waist. Hallelujah.

Which brings me to the Bolognese. In my ongoing search for the perfect Bolognese sauce I read about a method which is far more labour intensive than your standard sauce and which ended in it being quite salty (quite a lot of beef stock reduction and prosciutto will do that). So salty it was bordering on inedible which did not please me after hours in the kitchen. More research on google (what did we do without it?) resulted in another good tip.

If you’ve over-salted a dish just peel a couple of potatoes, pop them in and finish cooking. Remove the potatoes before serving. And, yes, it worked.

Two great hints in one weekend. Brilliant.

Warning: “Resizing” your jeans could lead to a serious case of denial and how much Bolognese you really can eat. Best punish yourself with some heavy-duty morning training (brrrr…. It is freezing at the moment) and a tuna salad for lunch.